


honey, when i'm above the trees (i see this for what it is)

by euphoriapotion



Series: break free and leave us in ruins | a marauders story season 1 [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Rating May Change, and try and live their lives during the war, archive warnings my change, it's not all black and white, marauders lily marlene mary alice and severus are all in one year and thet graduate, which side will they choose?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:09:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24494029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/euphoriapotion/pseuds/euphoriapotion
Summary: The room was dark and cold; several figures wearing black robes stood in a circle around a tall, pale, man, and the giant snake resting in his arms. Their faces were concealed by heavy hoods and their heads were lowered as a gesture of respect. They barely dared to breathe, terrified of missing a single word from their leader's speech.“There are many prominent witches and wizards who might join our ranks after the school year ends tomorrow. Watch them when they come home on Saturday and report the results to me,” a cold voice echoed in the silence.They knew that the summer of 1978 would be difficult for them, but they didn't realize how their lives would change once they choose the side. Voldemort is rising and The Order wants to stop him; but will they be able to? The Death Eaters are not going to let them win this war.What will happen to everyone? Will James and Lily survive at the end? Is it possible for Regulus and Sirius to become brothers ever again? Does Snape have a chance for redemption? And what really happened with Peter?Previously titled "Let Me Hold On To You"
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Petunia Evans Dursley & Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter
Series: break free and leave us in ruins | a marauders story season 1 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769539
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12





	honey, when i'm above the trees (i see this for what it is)

**Author's Note:**

> After graduating Hogwarts, Marauders and their friends join the Order of the Phoenix. Frank and Moody are attacked on a mission. Lily and James are planning to move in together and Lily talks to Petunia. Marlene officially joins the Order. In a flashforward, Sirius receives news about Regulus, and Peter plays a dangerous game.

**Thursday, 22nd June 1978, quarter past ten at night.**

The room was dark and cold; several figures wearing black robes stood in a circle around a tall, pale, man, and the giant snake resting in his arms. Their faces were concealed by heavy hoods and their heads were lowered as a gesture of respect. They barely dared to breathe, terrified of missing a single word from their leader's speech.

“There are many prominent witches and wizards who might join our ranks after the school year ends tomorrow. Watch them when they come home on Saturday and report the results to me,” a cold voice echoed in the silence.

“Yes, my lord,” one of them answered begrudgingly, almost as tall as their master. His long, blonde hair was almost shining in the dark. The Dark Lord heard the loathe in his voice, however.

“I don’t think that I need to remind you that you too were once a graduate of Hogwarts, Lucius,” Voldemort hissed as he narrowed his eyes. “Everyone who wants to help us deserves the same chance you’ve got, and the earlier we will recruit them, the more we will undermine that fool Dumbledore,” he spat that name with disgust, “and be one step closer to our goal. Do not approach them, only observe. Understood? Or would you like me to repeat?”

A shiver stalked down Lucius’ spine. Everyone froze, staring at the two. Nobody undermined the Dark Lord and lived to tell the tale.

“You’re right as always, my Lord,” Lucius bowed. “We will do as you say.”

Voldemort glanced at him but he didn't sense any dishonesty from Malfoy. 

“Do what you’re told. Do not approach them yet. Dismissed. Except you, Bella,” He looked at the young woman standing before him, who bowed immediately.

The gathered Death Eaters nodded and turned to leave, glancing at the dark-haired witch, eyelids heavy with envy and fear. The woman quickly rose in her ranks that they worked hard at for years. Nobody trusted her with their lives, but they weren’t fools enough to question her authority; she was one of the most powerful of them all, and their Lord trusted her.

When everyone left the room, Bellatrix Lestrange came closer to her master. “My Lord,” her voice full of respect, “What can I do for you?”

Voldemort only looked at her. He knew how eager she was to do as he wished. After a long moment of silence, he spoke, “I understand that your cousin graduates tomorrow.”

Bellatrix raised her eyebrow. “He is no longer my cousin,” she finally answered. “Aunt Walburga has disowned him after that wretched boy has turned his back on us and our cause.”

Nagini raised her head and hissed. Voldemort turned and walked over to the window.

“How could someone born and raised in the family as prominent as yours reject their birthright?” He said slowly. Bellatrix sensed the threat straight away.

“My Lord, Sirius is nothing but a bad seed that has been instantly removed from the ground. His brother Regulus, on the other hand, is full of potential,” she explained. “The House of Black has always been at your service, and Sirius’ betrayal has done nothing to change that.” She took a few small steps in his direction. “We are as loyal as we’ve always been, and nothing will change that.”

Voldemort tilted his head and looked at Nagini. She slid down on the floor and slithered towards Bellatrix, who immediately stilled.

“Tell me the full story,” ordered the Dark Lord without taking his eyes off the view behind the window. His voice left no room for discussion. He wanted the facts.

Glancing nervously at the snake, Bellatrix quickly told the story about her pathetic cousin, who, after being sorted to Gryffindor, rejected all the values and beliefs his family held. “I am sure that it was Potter and his friend who turned him against us,” she added bitterly. “This blood traitor is not worthy of joining us, my Lord. He’s rotted through and through.”

Neither Voldemort nor Nagini had moved for a while, and Bellatrix didn’t dare to disturb either of them. Finally, He Who Shall Be Not Named spoke. “I understand he’s not the only child. Tell me about his brother,” he demanded.

“Regulus still has one more year to finish his education, my Lord, but he adores you, he dreams of being one of us. He is loyal and humble, and the Black family is always proud and amazed by him. He is to be our greatest hope.”

“Age doesn’t matter. Whoever wants to join us has the opportunity to do so,” he acknowledged. “He might be too inexperienced, but we shall give him a chance.” He paused for a moment, “He can still be useful to us.”

“How so?” Bellatrix queried.

“You will learn in due time, Bella. Now, answer me one last time: Is Sirius Black too foolish to join us?”

“My Lord, this blood traitor will never see the reason, and if I can be honest, this might be good for us. He is not as great as everyone thinks,” Bellatrix insisted.

“Is he close to Dumbledore?”

The question was innocent, but it sent chills through her body and she swallowed thickly. “I do not know,” she reluctantly admitted. “According to Reg, he’s close to his fellow Gryffindors, but I don’t know anything about Dumbledore. Forgive me, my Lord.”

Voldemort turned and looked her in the eye. “And what happens if he is one of Dumbledore’s pets in the Order and will oppose us?” 

And without hesitation, Bellatrix held the Dark Lord’s gaze with conviction and answered, “Then I’ll kill him myself.”

**Friday, 23rd June 1978, eight o’clock in the evening.**

When Lily, Marlene, and Mary came down to the Great Hall on Friday evening, they weren’t exactly sure what to expect. The reality of what was going to happen hadn’t hit them with full force yet, and each one of them was lost in thought, remembering their first day within these walls; they could barely believe that it was their last night at the school and that they’d never set foot here again. This was their second home and it felt  _ wrong _ to leave.

The Great Hall was already full when they entered. It was decked out in the Hufflepuff colours of black and yellow to celebrate their winning the House Cup. A huge banner showing the Hufflepuff badger covered the wall behind the High Table.

Younger students were chatting excitedly about their plans for summer while the seventh years were quiet and withdrawn. The oldest students weren’t engaging in the conversations around them; most of them were deep in their heads with a longing look on their faces.

Lily sat down next to her boyfriend, James Potter, who looked both excited and terrified. Sirius was trying to cheer everyone up, but it was a half-hearted attempt; he felt the loss of this place as much as everyone else did, as Peter pointed out.

“How are you feeling?” Lily asked, quietly placing a kiss on James’ cheek. His eyes brightened immediately as he put his arm around her. “You alright, love?”

“Always. I just...I don’t want this night to end,” he said in a raspy voice, drinking the butterbeer he definitely nicked from Hogsmeade. “Mhm, but it's much better now that you’re here.”

“You guys are too sweet for this evening, and Remus just ate chocolate before we came here,” Peter laughed from across the table. “He doesn’t need more sugar. Get a room.”

“Better not,” Remus answered, casually, “They’d never leave, and we’d have to go back for them. I, for one, don’t want to see them like  _ that,  _ ever again.”

Lily’s cheeks turned pink, and James narrowed his eyes. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he pointed at Sirius. “It’s not like I have done anything that Padfoot hasn’t done before.”

Sirius glanced at them, looking affronted. “Why, the bloody hell, are you involving me in this mess, Prongs? What have I done to be punished like this?” He shook his head. “I’m just trying to wait for Dumbledore’s speech so I can finally eat, so bugger off.”

James snorted at his friend’s antics while Lily cleared her throat. “Anyway,” she looked pointedly at Remus, “What are you guys planning to do now that the school is over?”

Everybody looked at each other and turned their gaze away, glancing at Dumbledore who had yet to say something. Remus looked down at the empty tableware. Lily sighed. Marlene was the first to break the awkward silence.

“My mom wants us to leave for Paris,” she said quietly. “She already packed all our stuff and said we’re gonna leave within a few weeks.“ She sighed as she moved her curly, blonde hair away from her face. “I want my brother to get the hell away from here, but I’m staying and fighting. We already had an argument about this, but I don’t think she’ll believe me until I do it.”

Mary put her hand on her shoulder. 

“I have my eyes set on a nice flat near Diagon Alley that I told Lily about. It’d be a little cozy for three people and it’s a bit expensive, but if you’re sure you want to stay... We could rent it together? All three of us, like we’ve always dreamed about.”

Marlene beamed and hugged Mary tightly. 

“I’m in. Thank you! You’re the best! Now I have to tell my parents.” Her broad smile slid off her face as quickly as it had appeared when she thought of her mum and dad, who wanted to leave the country as soon as possible. She shook her head. “They’re not gonna like it. But,” she forced a smile when her gaze laid on her friends, “what about everyone else? Any exciting plans?”

Sirius nodded. “For the short term, I think I’m gonna pop in to say hello to Fleamont and Euphemia,” He glanced at James, who smiled back at him. “And then, who knows? I might annoy Andromeda for a while too. And I still have my flat in London, the one that uncle Alphard paid for. Anyone want to join me?” He looked pointedly at his fellow Marauders. While Peter was excited about this opportunity, Remus and James looked uncertain. “What’s up with those faces? You’re suddenly too good for me or something?” He frowned.

Remus shook his head. 

“It’s not that. You know that I can’t stay with you, even if I wanted to.” He looked around the Gryffindor table and lowered his voice. “Furry little problem,” he added.

“You’re being ridiculous. Did you know that I know about a very nice cabin in the woods and the owner is my best mate?” He raised an eyebrow at James, who rolled his eyes.

“Of course we can use the cabin. My parents don’t go there anymore, and it’s perfect for us. There’s no one there for miles; we’ll be okay.” He squeezed Remus’ shoulder. “Everybody is going to be there and that includes you, Moony, I won’t take no for an answer, so you better not come up with something ridiculous because your excuses are terrible.” He grinned at the other boy. “I still remember when you thought that telling us that your sister was in St. Mungos was a good idea.”

Peter snorted.

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot! When was it, third year?”

“One of the worst excuses ever,” Sirius grinned.

Remus turned pink. 

“I admit, not my proudest moment.” Everyone burst out laughing. “Oi, don’t mock me! You’re no better!”

“I don’t remember saying anything about having imaginary siblings,” smirked James and nudged Remus, who only sighed.

“I’m still not sure about this, but,” he raised his hand before anyone could interrupt him, “I will think about.”

Sirius beamed. “Brilliant! Prongs,  _ deer _ , when are you moving in?”

Before James could answer, however, Dumbledore decided to stand up at this very moment and send everyone a gentle smile.

“Good evening, students. As you all know we have to say goodbye for now. Some of you will return in a few months with heads full of ideas and mischief,” his eyes gleamed, “but for some of you, this is your last day here. You will never set foot here again as students of this school and you will be forever missed.” He sighed. “These times are not peaceful. There is a danger behind these walls, but together, we can win. As long as we’re united we can do everything. Remember, Voldemort wants to divide us, but blood purity doesn’t matter. Don’t let him twist your mind. Protect those, who cannot protect themselves. Be good and the light will shine on us all.” He looked at every student looking back at him and he glanced at the seventh years, smiling gently. “And remember, you are welcome here. Hogwarts is and always will be your home.”

He returned to his seat and the tables finally filled with food. Everyone began to eat and talk about their plans again. Marauders were planning the last prank of the year on unsuspecting Filch. Mary and Marlene were talking about their future flat with Lily commenting now and then.

She looked around the Great Hall, noticing the students she would probably never see again as if she was seeing them for the first time. She regretted some of the choices she had made throughout the years; she mourned the friendships that never were and the ones that, in the end, hurt every person involved. As she scanned the room, she noticed her friend Alice Fawley sitting at the Hufflepuff table and talking to a tall, broad-shouldered guy with a kind smile, partially hidden by his beard. Lily knew his name was Edgar Bones whom professor Flitwick always praised during charms, but that was the extent of knowledge she had about him. She was sorry for not giving him and many more people their age a second thought while befriending Death Eaters instead.

She sighed and casted a glance towards the Slytherin table where Severus Snape was in deep discussion with Avery. He and Lily used to be friends for years before she realized what kind of person Snape really was. She briefly wondered if he had already done the thing he planned to; the one that he couldn’t take back, becoming a Death Eater. She knew he wanted to do it for longer than she admitted, but she used to hope that he would change his mind. She used to make a lot of excuses about his behaviour, but after he called her a “Mudblood” she knew that there weren’t any; her heart broke when she decided to cut him off. She regretted both their friendship and the way it ended.

Before she could focus back on her friends, she felt someone's glare; she caught brown eyes looking into hers with a burning intensity. Her eyes widened slightly when she recognized the person staring back at her; his face was blank but his eyes were full of careful interest. She heard her name being said out loud and looked away, focusing back on the conversation between her own friends who were now talking about her and Sirius’ fight at their very first week at school.

On the other side of the room sat a boy, who was deep in thought. His eyes wandered around the room, unfocused until he noticed a pair of green coloured eyes staring in his direction. He looked back at her, wondering why on Earth would a Head Girl even look at their table with a sorrowful look on her face, but he couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation.

Regulus Black shook slightly his head and looked to his right to see who she was looking at, spotting Snape sitting a few seats away from him. He recalled seeing him with Evans a few years prior, remembering that they used to be friends. He glanced back at her, curious, but she quickly turned her face away. He shrugged and was about to focus back on his food when he suddenly heard Avery’s hushed voice saying the words “Death Eaters.” 

He tensed. He was well aware of his future responsibilities like joining the Dark Lord’s ranks He was unaware of the conversation his cousin had with Voldemort the night before, but he was familiar with the expectations his family had of him; with Sirius disowned, it was on/up to Regulus to carry the family legacy. He knew the responsibility he had to uphold. As the only male heir of House of Black it was his duty to join the ranks of Dark Lord and secure the family name within the pureblood society, and, in the near future, marry a suitable woman to produce an heir of his own to continue the line.

The pressure his family had bestowed upon him was overwhelming. Deep down Regulus wanted to run away from all the responsibilities he had; to be just a boy playing with his older brother in the attic. He wished for things to go back to the way they were once; no war, no expectations. Just the two of them playing hide and seek and annoying their parents.

He took a shuddering breath and gripped the edge of the table to steady his trembling palms. Wide-eyed, he tried to focus on the food laying in front of him.  _ Don’t let anyone notice your distress _ , Regulus thought to himself.  _ Blacks are above such things. _

The abrupt, loud bark-like laughter from across the room startled him. Regulus glanced in this direction and saw his brother snickering with his friends. As Regulus spotted the glint Sirius’ eye and grin on his lips, he had to reluctantly admit that his brother had never looked happier. He scowled when he noticed Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew chuckling and joking around him. Regulus watched Sirius and his newfound family with resentment and swallowed as a lump formed in his throat. Sirius was happy without him there. He didn’t need him anymore.

All four of them were laughing. They were thrilled to be together this last day of school. They knew that, whatever happens next, they’d always have each other’s backs.

Sirius was ready to start life with his best friends straight away. He was so engaged with the conversation with James, that he didn’t notice Regulus watching him all evening. He didn’t realize that his brother was looking at him with a mixture of disdain and longing. And he definitely didn’t see tears rolling down Regulus’ face.

  
  


**Saturday, 24th June 1978, quarter past five in the afternoon.**

Hogwarts-London Express had finally reached the station. Students poured out of it, being welcomed by their parents and relatives. The seventh years were not as cheerful as usual; it was their last trip home. The adult life was about to begin and they weren’t sure they’re quite ready yet.

A small group of people were standing not far from the train, waiting for their remaining friends to join them. Frank, who graduated two years ago, was cradling Alice in his arms and she held onto him just as tightly.

“Almost like Lily and James when they don’t see each other for a few hours, but with less snogging,” Sirius commented when they finally joined him, which earned him a smack in the head from the aforementioned ginger. “Oi, don’t hit me, you know I’m right.”

Alice rolled her eyes and brushed her blonde hair off her face. Frank flipped Sirius off and tightened his embrace on Alice.

“Lily’s right on,” Alice smirked. “Say what you will but your little remarks got nothing on me.”

Sirius squinted his eyes at her. 

“Someone’s chuffed,” he commented, “I wonder why.”

“I won The House Cup,” Alice smirked.

“It ought to have been ours,” he claimed.

“Don’t be daft. You lost the Cup three years in the row. You’re just not that good, Black.” Alice laughed. 

Sirius looked affronted.

“Excuse you, at least we won The Quidditch Cup,” he boasted.

“I don’t care about the Quidditch Cup”, she lied. Hufflepuff lost the match against Gryffindor with ten points in the semi-finals and the whole house was devastated. It was so close. “Do you care about the Quidditch Cup?” She turned her head to look at her boyfriend, the previous Hufflepuff beater, who shook his head, smiling gently.

Sirius’s eyes twinkled.

“Liars. Both of you.” He commented. 

Alice raised her eyebrow. “Are we?”

Peter clapped Sirius’ arm. “Don’t argue with the future Auror, Padfoot. She can hex you,” he warned him. He experienced it first-hand in his first year the only time the Marauders decided to prank the Hufflepuffs.

“Not sure if he’s worth my time.” Alice shrugged. She’d love to hex Sirius, though, if only to wipe that smirk off his face.

Mary sighed and leaned towards Lily and Marlene.

“They’re gonna be at this for a while,” she pointed out. Marlene only snickered in response. Sirius and Alice’s bickering were always a lot of fun.

“You’re awfully chuffed to be leaving, Shortcake,” Black cracked on.

“Well, at least I won’t have to see your ugly face,” She replied innocently. Everybody roared with laughter.

A movement in the corner of his eye caught his attention and he turned to see Lily with a bright smile on her face, waving enthusiastically to someone on the other side of the platform. He looked in that direction, noticing a pair of elderly people he was delighted to see, standing next to the tall, blonde woman who was looking at the red-head.

Sirius smirked and leaned towards James. “Your future mother-in-law is here.”

James clasped Sirius’ arm. “Pads, I’m gonna punch you.”

Sirius only lifted his eyebrow in response and turned to Lily who had already begun saying goodbye to everybody.

She bade them a fond farewell, promising to see everyone soon. After she left, Sirius looked after his friends. Lily was hugging her mother, who was almost crying with happiness, with James standing next to them with his hair messier than it had been a minute ago. Sirius snorted. Why was James nervous? He had no idea, as he'd already met Lily’s mum last Easter and seemed to make a good impression. Besides, Fleamont and Euphemia were standing there with him, and they both loved Lily too. James had nothing to be worried about.

He looked away to laugh at James’ expense with Remus and Peter when he noticed someone else. A tall boy with black hair was walking towards a stern-looking witch whom Sirius immediately recognized. His smile dropped instantly and his blood boiled with rage. He tightened his hands into fists when his breaths quickened. He glared at his brother, whose head was held high as he approached their mother. Sirius felt a throbbing pain in his throat which he chose to ignore. He swallowed, but couldn’t tear his eyes away as Regulus walked out of the King’s Cross without even looking back.

Sirius exhaled. Regulus didn’t even notice him. He was fine with it. He staggered, trying to calm down. 

He didn’t need his brother.

_ Breathe in, breathe out. _

He didn’t miss him. 

His pounding heart drowned out what was happening around him. He forced his quivering hands to stop shaking.

He was  _ fine _ .

  
  


**Monday, 3rd July 1978, noon**

Being back home was strange. There were no lessons anymore to take, no exams to pass. There were no friends to stay up late with every day or classmates to have a chat with. And there was no castle and its secrets; there was just a ground floor house in the Muggle neighbourhood and memories of school. After over a week it was still strange to get used to it. But her mother was there and Lily was incredibly lucky that she could spend more time with her now.

Petunia had, unknowingly to Lily, been living with her fiance for a few months now. Lily was surprised and hurt when her mom had told her the news instead of her sister, but remained hopeful still. She thought now that she would no longer be at Hogwarts, Petunia would forgive her and finally give her a chance. She wanted to tell her all about James and their relationship and their plans for the future. In turn, Lily wanted to know more about this Vernon bloke who had caught Petunia's eye. She missed her sister terribly and hoped that they could be proper sisters again... But Petunia was yet to reach out.

She was currently in the kitchen to prepare a quick meal. James was supposed to come for a visit in half an hour and Lily wanted to have a picnic with him. It had been raining the past few days, but today the sun was shining and Lily was determined not to waste this opportunity.

She put the hamper on a kitchen table and begun to pack it with all the stuff she needed: freshly baked scones wrapped in cloth, spicy wraps that took hours to make just right, coronation chicken sandwiches that James loved so much, sweet and savoury muffins, jam tarts, bath buns and biscuits for after, tea, and cider for her boyfriend to try for the first time. As she stuffed the hamper with delicious treats, her mind took her to the time when her dad was still alive. She had no idea about magic yet; there was nothing extraordinary happening around Lily. She and Petunia were best friends still and their parents would take them out to the countryside every fortnight for the outing. The family picnics were a fun activity that Lily and Petunia both loved, but when their father took ill, the family outings became fewer and far between. Lily could hardly remember their last one.

She curved her lips in a sad smile. As much as she wanted to dwell on the past, she had to look to the future. As much as she was uncertain about her life and the state of the world she was living in, she was sure that she wanted to spend her future with James. Maybe the picnics could become their tradition too.

Lily sighed. Her mum already invited James for dinner and she dreaded this conversation; she and James didn’t give her mum a definite answer regarding when James would be available to come. Helen was overjoyed that her youngest daughter was back home; Lily’s aunt was supposed to move in with them at the end of the month, as the tenant of the house she was living in now wanted to sell it soon. Mrs. Evans knew that Lily was planning to move out once she graduated, but she didn’t know yet that Lily wanted to live with her boyfriend so soon. She didn’t think her mother would agree, but according to the wizarding law, she was now an adult. She and James talked it over a few times already and they wanted to do it. They didn’t have a flat or a place to live in yet, but they hoped they would find something soon. Lily was sceptical about her mother’s approval, however, which was the reason she didn’t tell her mother anything about her future plans yet. She didn’t want to upset her. She knew it was the same reason James didn’t share their plans with Padfood yet either; she knew they ought to do it sooner rather than later, but they were both afraid of their loved one’s reactions. Black was James’ brother in all but blood and Lily didn’t want to feel like she was getting between them. She liked Sirius and she hoped they could still be friends.

But Lily was also conflicted when it came to her own best friends. Ever since she became close with her dormmates, Marlene and Mary, and later with Alice even with them being in different houses, they had all planned to live together after school. They had come up with so many ideas over the years about what they would do when the day finally came. Their plans were closer to becoming a reality, which was both exciting and terrifying. Lily daydreamed about setting up a flat with her friends during long lessons with professor Binns and in the hours spent with her friends. She longed for that for so long and now that she had a chance to make this dream real, she didn’t know what to do. She never imagined she would love to live with someone else instead  — that is until she and James became a couple.

James and Lily were officially dating since last Halloween and after eight months Lily already knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. When he asked her to move in together, she was overjoyed. They planned to start looking for nice flats next week and they hoped they would live together before Lily began her Healer training in the second week of October. Lily bit her lip when she thought about her mother’s possible reaction; she didn’t want to fight her about it, but she was tired of keeping her plans from her as well. And her friends… They would be so disappointed. Alice mentioned the possibility of living with Frank in the near future, but Lily didn’t confess her own plans and was beating around the bush instead. She swallowed. Lily and James had to admit to their intentions soon. She took a deep breath to calm down. Her heart began to beat fast every time she thought about it. She exhaled. It was going to be alright. She had to believe that.

The doorbell rang and Lily shook her head. The time for worrying would be later; now she had a lunch date to attend to and she didn’t want James to see her concern. She smiled slightly at the sight of James leaning over the railing; his hands crossed and a grin on his face; she collected the hamper and hurried towards the door. Despite all her worries, she was happy to see him again.

  
  


**Sunday, 8th July 1978, six thirty-five in the afternoon.**

“Miss McKinnon, what a pleasure to see you already,” said a friendly voice. Marlene turned around to see Albus Dumbledore walking into the room with a knowing look on his face. He wasn’t surprised to see her here; he had a feeling that Marlene would be the first to join the cause.

“Thank you, Professor,” she answered, nodding. She glanced at him and his eyes shined.

“You can call me Albus now, you know,” he observed.

They were in a small room in Three Broomsticks that Rosmerta called her office; it was cluttered with stacks of papers on almost every surface, but she graciously let them use it for now. The reason for this meeting was both the simplest and hardest decision Marlene had ever made: to join the Order.

The Order of the Phoenix was a secret organization created by Dumbledore almost a decade ago to fight the dark wizard Voldemort who wanted to eradicate Muggles and Muggleborns. The Ministry wasn’t equipped to fight such an enemy, deploying only a small group of Aurors after Death Eaters, which was never enough. Dumbledore asked Minister Harold Minchum multiple times to get rid of the dementors who were already on Voldemort’s side, to no avail; the Ministry’s incapacity to go after Voldemort was the reason for creating the Order in the first place. Dumbledore approached several seventh-year students in the last few weeks, asking them to keep it to themselves, and, if they agreed to join, to wait a few weeks until they were acclimated to life outside of Hogwarts.

Marlene stayed behind while she sent her family to France to keep them safe. Her father and her little brother were Muggles and Marlene was aware that they didn’t stand a chance against the Death Eaters. She knew that her decision broke her parents’ hearts, but she also knew she had to fight and had no time to waste. She couldn’t wait till September when her training for Magical Law Enforcement would begin; she wanted to be useful now. She knew that her friends were planning to join in a few weeks, but she was restless. She felt helpless reading the Daily Prophet articles about new attacks on Muggle communities and she couldn’t bear to sit tight and do nothing about it. She wanted to help as soon as she could and the longer she waited, the more helpless she felt about everything. 

Dumbledore didn’t seem surprised, however. Marlene suspected that he knew that some of his students would join earlier than he advised, but as they were all of age now and his students no more, he couldn’t tell them what to do. Besides, she thought to herself, the more people joined the cause, the better. The Order didn’t seem to have many members. She recalled the conversation she and Dumbledore had when he first approached them. He told them about the dangers and fallen companions with such pain in his voice that Marlene later wondered for days what she would feel like if she witnessed so many young people, especially her friends, fight and give their lives for the good cause. But they both knew that sacrifices were necessary to win the war. Marlene had faith in Dumbledore, who was doing everything in his power to stop Voldemort from destroying even more lives. 

When Marlene sat down her blonde curly hair tied up in a ponytail hit the back of the chair. She straightened up when Dumbledore took the place in front of her. She knew it was the most important decision she’s ever made but she was ready. She thought about this for weeks and she was sure this is what she wanted to do. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and folded her trembling hands in her lap.

“Shall we begin?”

________

Across the country, the grim and obscure room was filled with witches and wizards in black robes with hoods and masks covering their faces. There were more people here than Regulus had expected. He thought it would only be Voldemort and the newest recruits in the room, hoping it would be more bearable that way. He was proven wrong when he stepped into the room with the rest of the newbies and was shoved into the middle of the room almost immediately.

He shivered, but Regulus wasn’t sure if the cold he felt was because of the chilly weather or something else entirely. He flinched when his eyes laid on Voldemort; the only figure in the room whose pale face was visible for everyone. His red eyes almost shone in the duskiness. Nagini, his companion was slithering next to her master. Regulus discreetly looked around and saw that he was not the only person afraid of what was going to happen. He tried to stop his heart from beating faster than it already was, but was unsuccessful when he saw many familiar faces around him: Severus Snape was on his right, accompanied by Mulciber and Avery who recently graduated Hogwarts alongside Snape. Behind them were Freya Selwyn and Noah Travers, Regulus’ classmates; both of them pale and trembling.

His jaw dropped when he looked discreetly to his left and recognized another face in the crowd. Eyes wide and almost quivering in anticipation for what was going to come next, Bartemius Crouch Jr. drew attention to himself by simply being there. Regulus noticed that many masked Death Eaters were looking at Crouch, shaking their heads slightly and muttering to themselves. Bartemius’ father was the head of the Department Magical Law Enforcement, tipped as the next Ministry for Magic. Many believed that his son would follow in his footsteps; Regulus included. 

His face went blank. A voice in the back of his mind, sounding suspiciously too much like his brother Sirius, asked if he was mad by joining Voldemort but he shook it away. He made up his mind. The time for questions had passed; it was too late.

He looked away, casting his eyes on the Death Eaters around him but he couldn’t see his cousin anywhere. He could never tell her about his doubts; she would kill him if she knew, but it was strangely comforting to know that his family was also in the room with everyone.

Regulus wasn’t the only one to observe the scene before him. Severus Snape was watching everyone carefully as well. He maintained the perfect poker face seeing Barty Crouch Jr. but couldn’t help but to notice Regulus Black fidgeting right next to him. He didn’t know if he was having doubts or if he wanted to make a good impression on his cousin, whom Severus knew was one of the masked figures in the room, but he decided to keep an eye on Black closely, just in case.

Then Voldemort spoke and Severus stilled, turning his gaze to him.

“You came here tonight because you agree with us that Mudbloods and the traitors who stand with them have no place in our society,” said Dark Lord. “We will eliminate that plague to ensure the future generations are only those of pure blood. Anyone lesser will soon learn that they are not worthy of being part of the world we’re creating. And anyone who opposes us will join the mud scum as we will finally be respected as superiors that we are.”

Death Eaters roared. Snape suppressed the shudder by the unexpected noise.  _ Yes _ , he thought,  _ this is why I joined _ . This is what he wanted, a society where he would finally be respected by everyone.

Voldemort looked at the newest recruits.

“Each of your loyalties will be put to the test. There is no place for traitors and those who wish us ill, will be severely punished. There are no second chances.”

Everyone shuddered. Nobody wanted to let him down.

“The time has come. Kneel.”

Everyone obeyed. Voldemort approached Snape’s group and looked each in the eye. Everyone shivered by the intensity of his gaze, some screamed, but everyone looked away afterward. When Voldemort looked into his eyes, Snape felt his violent presence in his mind, destroying any defenses he might have put up as he went through every memory, painfully and invasively. He felt cold to the core. After what felt like hours, Dark Lord let go, moving on to the next person, and Snape felt as though he could finally breathe. Voldemort had left him feeling exposed and vulnerable like he had never before and he detested it. At this moment, he hated Voldemort, and even himself for being so weak. He took a sharp breath. He could do this.

It was not the end though. After a short moment, each was given a knife to cut their left arm. When Snape’s turn came, Voldemort’s long, white fingers firmly wrapped themselves around his arm. After a moment he pressed his palm to the incision on Severus’ skin. What followed was pure agony; his blood turned to ice, then to fire and his arm burned terribly; it was agonizing. The excruciating pain traveled up his heart into his chest, his heart experiencing the worst agony Snape had ever experienced. It was as if he could feel his soul achingly wriggling inside of him. He struggled for breath. He clenched his teeth, but couldn’t suppress the high-pitched scream of anguish and torment that escaped his throat.  _ Let it be over _ , he thought.  _ Make it stop _ .

It did, finally. Once it was done he quietly whimpered. His soul weighed a tonne now and he could barely move. His loudly pounding heart couldn’t drown out Regulus’ piercing screams, however. After a long while, when Regulus could finally catch a breath, Severus sat up. He looked at his arm where the Dark Mark had appeared. The skin around it was bright red which contrasted with the black ink of the tattooed snake slithering in and through the skull. He felt sick to the stomach. Lily’s words echoed in his mind.  _ You’ve chosen your way. I’ve chosen mine.  _ He shook his head and tried to stand up when everyone else was prompted to, even though his legs would barely support him now. He resisted the urge to grab his left arm and cry. 

He was finally one of them. It didn’t feel quite as exhilarating or euphoric as he imagined; he was drained and defeated. He stood up and swayed. Once the ceremony was over, he apparated to his mother’s house in Cokeworth and dragged his feet across the room. The blackness took over and soon he was unconscious. 

  
  


**Wednesday, 13th July 1978, seventeen minutes past one in the afternoon.**

Frank Longbottom ran into the Ministry of Magic with a wild look on his face. His sandy blonde hair was disheveled and ruffled; he was out of breath. He arrived in the Atrium on the eighth floor and immediately ran into the staircase, all the way down to the second floor to the Auror’s department without even thinking of getting into the lift. He had to find Moody straightaway.

Alastor Moody was a fellow Auror and the Order member; he was Frank’s partner and his mentor. Both of them were often assigned on missions together and they both kept some of them off-record; as Frank has learned, the Minister would not approve of them helping the Order and fighting Death Eaters on their own.

When Frank ran into their office, he saw Alastor sitting in his box filling out the report. His face and his arms were scarred; his one eye was small, dark, and beady, but the other was large, round as a coin and vivid, electric blue; the blue eye was constantly moving without blinking, independently of the normal eye. His facial features were sharp as a razor and he constantly looked menacing. His greyish hair didn’t make him look any gentler. 

Frank was sure that Moody saw him running down the stairs through his magic eye. He was straightened up but didn’t stop writing yet; only when Frank finally reached him did he immediately point at him to sit down and catch a breath.

“Talk.”

Frank’s chest rose and fell with rapid breaths; he brought his head closer to Moody.

“Benjy called me,” he whispered conspiratorially. Benjy Fenwick was a barman at the Leaky Cauldron and a member of the Order of Phoenix as well. Both Benjy and Frank graduated from Hogwarts two years prior and while they weren’t very close at school, one being a Ravenclaw and the other a Hufflepuff respectively, they became friends when they both joined Dumbledore’s organization.

Alastor lifted an eyebrow and put the quill down. Benjy’s gen was always reliable.

Frank didn’t waste any more time and told the story in a hushed voice.

“ Something’s happening today in Broaden Campden. Benjy said that he got Goyle drunk this morning and got him to reveal some of their plans. He said that a new wave of recruits were brought in last week and some of them will prove themselves tonight.” Frank grimaced. It was not good news. Moody seemed to agree because he quickly stood up.

“We’re going. Get up.” Without even waiting for Frank to join him Moody headed for the lift. Frank followed him without a word. They both ignored the owl flying above their heads as they came up to the Atrium. They stepped into the fireplace taking them directly to The Leaky Cauldron where Moody could hear the plans from Benjy himself.

According to Benjy, Goyle hadn’t said much. He told them Voldemort wanted to test some of the new recruits by sending them to a small village to cause chaos and terrify the Muggle community living there. It was everything that The Death Eater could tell him and before Goyle realized where he was or that he said anything, Benjy had already obliviated him, leaving him to sit and wonder in confusion alone. 

The dusk found Frank and Moody in Broaden Campden, Gloucestershire. It was a small village with less than one hundred and fifty inhabitants. Frank was crouching behind the only church in the village, while Moody was sitting in the nearby pub. Both were waiting for the inevitable.

The sun had set. Frank’s legs were giving out when he finally heard a loud, cracking noise that echoed in the quiet town  — the sound of people apparating into the streets. He peeked from behind the wall of the church and his suspicions were true. A small group of people dressed in black robes, each hiding behind a golden mask were beginning to make their way into town; their muffled voices and footsteps fading in the opposite direction of him. 

Frank turned away from them and took out his two-way mirror and quickly told Moody their time was up. He put the mirror away, replacing it with his wand and prepared for a fight. He waited to strike until he heard surprised shouts in front of the church. Moody met them without hesitation, drawing the invisibility cloak off him and sending multiple spells straight into the crowd of Death Eaters. They stood in shock only for a moment, but a moment was all Frank needed to duck out from behind his hiding place and join Moody. 

“Stupefy!”, he shouted and hit one hooded figure. As the young Death Eaters realized what was happening a few of them began to disapparate in panic, until Moody cast an anti-disapparition jinx, forcing them to stay and fight. After all, that’s what they signed up for.

The spells flew around Frank as he ducked and attacked in turn. Some of the spells cast his way were harmless, but he dodged just as many flashes of green that rushed past his head; the amateurs seemingly unafraid to use the killing curse. He hit a few of them who laid stupefied on the ground; killing Death Eaters was illegal and Frank didn’t want to permanently harm them either. After all, they were just kids.

With only Moody and himself in the fight, it wasn’t long before his luck ran out and was finally hit with a shot of red right in his back  — the Cruciatus curse. He doubled over in excruciating pain feeling like his insides were on fire and the opponents used his inability to protect himself as an opportunity to disarm him. Lying on the ground he saw a little girl running down the street calling for her parents. He tried to get up, but his head felt like it was going to burst and it was too late; she was hit by a jet of green light.

“No!” He shouted hoarsely through the pain, but it was no use. She wasn’t moving.

The Death Eater who killed her looked at him and Frank saw dead eyes staring at him from behind his mask; he pointed his wand at Frank and there was a flash of light; he felt a sharp pang and a cut appeared on his side spattering his robes with blood. Frank could barely move, but laying there as his opponent began to turn his back, wandless and with his blood beginning to wet the pavement beneath him, Frank still understood one thing  — death was not an option. When the Death Eater turned his back, Frank mustered up all the energy he had left and used it to tackle him to the ground, ripping his wand away. His moves were slow and uncertain, dragging his heavy feet. The wand didn’t listen to him fully, but he managed to stun him and other Death Eaters that had turned back in shock. When they hit the ground, he hastily looked around to find Moody. What he saw froze the blood in his veins.

Moody was lying on his back, wandless with anguish twisting his face. His left leg was lying in the mud next to him, his stump bleeding out. There was a figure hovering over him and Frank recognized Lucius Malfoy’s voice.

“Did you really think that The Dark Lord would let them come here without anyone more experienced?” Malfoy asked mockingly. “You’re not as smart as you think you are.”

“So you’re on babysitting duty,” wheezed Moody holding his stump leg tightly. Frank needed to do something quickly before Malfoy killed them both.

He raised his trembling hand. 

“Flipendo!” The spell knocked Malfoy over. Frank hit him with a few more spells to buy them some time, disarming him and stopping him from getting back up with an Impediment jinx. “Shit, shit, shit,” he whispered, clutching his side as blood started to flow faster and limping over to an unmoving Moody. He waved his wand to cast a Patronus, sending an urgent message to St. Mungo’s and kneeled over his friend. “Come on, Alastor, hold on, the Healers are on their way!” He said in a brittle voice. They couldn’t just lose.

Moody opened his eye. “What a shity day,” he grumbled. His blue eye stopped moving when he lost consciousness.

  
  


**Friday, 15th July 1978, quarter past eleven in the morning.**

A loud knock to the window echoed in an empty room. Lily jumped and raised her head to shift her attention away from the “properties for sale section” in the Daily Prophet she was browsing. A screech owl sat on a windowsill that Lily recognized as Daphne, who belonged to Mary. Curious, and a little guilty for avoiding her friends except for when she met them in the hospital, she stood up and opened the window. An owl flew inside and dropped the letter on the table and almost immediately flew out. Lily picked it up and broke the seal, quickly scanning the words written in neat handwriting.

_ Dear Lily, _

_ I wanted to talk to you last time we saw each other, but everything was so hectic in St. Mungo’s that it completely slipped my mind.  _

_ Marlene is staying with me at my mom’s flat for the moment. She and her parents already argued about going to France more than once. They’re safe, but you know Marls, she’s stubborn and decided to stay here with us. _

_ The flat that I would have liked us to move into was sadly sold when we went to see it, but we recently found another one in the Muggle part of London. It’s quite big, it’s got three rooms, a kitchen, and a bathroom. What do you say? We’ve always talked about living together after school and the flat is quite close to St. Mungo’s where we’ll both start our training in October. Come on, Lils, I know you don’t really want to live with your aunt when she moves flats by the end of the month, but you didn’t say anything else about it and we’d love to live with you. It’s more expensive than Marls and I can afford, and we’ve always wanted to live together ever since we became friends, us and Alice. I reckon she wants to move in with Frank now, especially after what happened, and I don’t blame her a bit. I would do the same thing. _

_ Please, think it through. We’d be very happy to share a flat. I’m not sure I’m ready for an adult life without my friends by my side. _

_ Love, _

_ Mary. _

Lily sighed. What Mary said was the truth, wasn’t it? She dreamt about living with her friends for so long and she didn't want to toss it away. She loved James and her friends and she didn’t want to choose between them.

The specific line caught her eye.  _ I know you don’t really want to live with your aunt when she moves flats by the end of the month, but you didn’t really say anything else about it. _ Her aunt always preferred Petunia than her anyway and she was really nasty to Lily ever since she found out she was attending a school for gifted students, especially because Petunia was forced to stay home. That was the story their mum came up with anyway since they couldn’t reveal that Lily was a witch.

She shook her head. She and James made a mistake by not telling anyone about their plans; if they were straightforward with everyone, she wouldn’t feel so conflicted now. And she knew that James felt lost too.

She picked up the pen and a piece of Muggle paper and started writing a letter, but not to Mary.

_ Dear James _ —

She hesitated. What could she write?

It’s not like she could apparate to his house. That was one conversation she didn’t want Sirius or their parents to hear and she didn’t want to lie to their faces, especially now that Padfoot had been so excited at the farewell feast to live with his best mates. She winced. They were both horrible people, weren’t they?

The ringing of her telephone shook her from her thoughts. She slowly made her way towards the hall and picked up the phone.

“Halo?” She hesitantly asked. She didn't expect anyone to call at this time of the day as all of her mum’s friends would call when she was home after work and they didn’t know Lily enough to call her up for a chat. She frowned. The stretched silence on the other end made her uneasy. “Evans family. Who’s there?”

“Lily?!” Someone said in a tight voice. Lily recognized it. She heard that voice in her dreams sometimes.

“Tuney?” she asked almost breathlessly.  _ Please, don’t hang up _ , she thought.

“What are you doing there?” Petunia asked suspiciously. Lily suppresses a sigh.

“I’m back,” She hesitated. “I graduated last month, Tuney.”

“Oh. Good… Good to hear that.”

“How are you?”

Petunia hesitated. “Good. I’m… I’m actually getting married next year. Mum was supposed to help me find a dress next week, so…” Her voice trailed off.

“Right… She mentioned that.” Lily was at a loss for words. She wanted to talk to her sister so badly, but she didn’t know what to say. “Look, Tuney… Maybe we could meet up sometime?” When Petunia didn’t answer, “Just to talk?” Lily added. She didn’t want Petunia to think that she wanted to help her with her wedding. While it was Lily’s dream to be Petunia’s bridesmaid, she knew that it was something they both weren't ready for yet.

“Maybe some other time,” Petunia answered carefully. “Just tell mom that I called. Bye, Lily,” and with that, Petunia hung up.

Lily stood there, frozen for a long time, her heart pounding in her chest and crying silently until a knock on the door shook her from her thoughts.

She opened the door to see James standing on the other side, looking rather sheepish. He straightened up when he saw the look on her face.

“What happened, love?” He frowned and stepped inside.

Lily smiled weakly.

“Petunia called.” She sniffed.

James took her in his arms. “You alright?” Lily shrugged against his chest and he hugged her tighter.

“It’s fine. Just… Didn’t expect to hear from her, that’s all”. Lily said in a small voice.

They stood there for a while until Lily calmed down; she could feel some tension in James’ muscles. She stepped back and James sighed.

“What’s wrong, love?” Lily asked. Something happened. Her heart skipped a beat.

James hesitated. Lily took his hand and brought him to her room. After they sat on her bed James started speaking

“I was going to the sitting room when I heard Padfoot talking to my mum,” he began quietly, running the fingers through his hair. “He was telling her about his plans to move houses in August… And he told her that I’m going to live with him.” He sighed. “Mum was surprised; said that she didn’t hear any of my plans about it… And I felt sick. I hate lying to them and yet I can’t bring myself to tell them the truth…” He buried his face in his hands. “I’m not sure what to do.”

Lily was silent for a long time. His words were swirling through her mind and she could barely focus on anything. They loved each other. And they loved their friends too. She sighed. There was only one thing left to do.

Lily stood up and James winced. He was convinced Lily was angry until she spoke again.

“Mary sent me this,” she picked up a letter. “She wants me to live with her and Marlene… Like we planned to for years.” 

James looked up. 

“We screwed up.” He finally said.

“We can still fix this. And I think we both know how.”

James stood up and approached Lily. 

“We don’t even have a flat yet, so it’s not like we have to sell it or something,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

“And we wanted to live with our friends anyway,” she added.

“I hope you know how much I love you, honey.”, said James. The warmth in his voice made Lily smile. “And nothing is going to change that.”

“I love you too.” She put her hands around his neck.” And we  _ will _ live together… One day.”

“One day,” he repeated, curling his lips in the smile. “And until then…” He brought her closer. “I will dream about our own place,” he whispered, closing the distance between them.

He pressed his lips against hers; Lily gasped and snogged him back. She felt like a great weight fell from her shoulders and from how relaxed James was now, she knew he felt it too.

They were okay. And they felt much better now, knowing that they were on the same page.

**Thursday, 2nd August 1979, half-past seven in the evening.**

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Peter Pettigrew asked suspiciously. He didn’t like this plan at all.

“We need all the information we can gather, Wormtail,” answered the deep, quiet voice. “If we do nothing, they’re gonna win and kill us all. Only you’ve got the advantage to change it.”

Fear crossed Peter’s face. He didn’t like the responsibility that awaited him. 

“If they find out, they will kill me. You know that!” He didn’t want to sound so whiny, but he was terrified. This isn’t what he signed up to do when he first joined. 

“I’m sorry, Pete. I’m so sorry, I don’t want to put you in danger.“ James Potter ran his fingers through his hair. His usually handsome face was twisted in the grimace. He’s got a shiner and a cut on his forehead which only recently stopped bleeding. “I swear if I had another idea I would never have suggested it.”

“When we joined the Order last year we knew it would be dangerous,” Remus Lupin chipped in, his voice heavy and sad. “We all risk our lives, Pete, you’re included. And you’re our best mate, we wouldn’t have sent you there if we had any other option. But Voldemort is growing stronger and he’s always at least two steps ahead. We’ve got to know what he’s planning. Or we and everyone else we care about dies.”

Peter considered it for a long time. Words stuck in his throat, he broke out in a cold sweat. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was fidgeting the whole time. But his friends were right, the Order needed his help.

“Alright,” he sighed reluctantly. “But we’re playing a dangerous game here.”

“We know,” said James. He stepped closer and embraced Peter. “We’re sorry. We didn’t want to put you in this position.”

Peter lifted his shoulder in a half-shrug. His friends were actively fighting the Death Eaters, the least he could do was to help them. Even if the same idea terrified him.

“Where should we start?”

**Monday, 7th August 1979, ten twenty-seven at night.**

The weather did not encourage anyone to take a walk, but what’s a drizzle when you’ve got to patrol the streets of Hogsmeade at night. Sirius wrapped his leather jacket tighter around himself when the colder wind blew, and debated whether or not he ought to take a break and go to the pub for a minute, but he decided against it. Something bad was coming, he could feel it in his bones. He didn’t call the Order yet, but he was gripping his wand in the pocket just in case; he’d be ready when the time came.

Something fluttered in the silence; Sirius drew his wand out and turned around with surprising speed, almost slipping in a puddle, to face the unknown. He didn’t fancy being attacked out of nowhere and for a while, he didn’t see anything. His narrowed eyes and searched the street around him when he finally caught movement in the corner of his eye; an owl was flying towards him.

Before he could relax, however, he felt a shiver down his spine as he recognized the bird. As the owl flew closer he was certain. He hadn’t seen him in almost a year, but there was no mistaking it. Mercury brought him a post.

_ Regulus _ . 

Why would the git send him anything after months of radio silence? Something caught him by the back of his throat. He clenched his fists as he saw the owl arrive.

Mercury dropped the letter at Sirius’ feet and took off straight away. Padfoot looked in his direction for a long time until he finally dropped his gaze to a post laying on the ground just narrowingly missing the puddle on the street. His name was staring back at him. He considered burning it to the ash, but before he could cast the spell, something stopped him. He hesitated; he didn’t want anything to do with the younger Black, but in the back of his mind he knew that Regulus wouldn’t reach out to him unless he had no other choice. There had to be a reason for this.

He pushed down his anxiety and picked up the letter from the ground, recognizing his younger brother's handwriting across on the front of the envelope. His stomach dropped as he noticed the seal; red, with the large letter B in the middle, and the inscription around it:  _ The Ancient And Most Noble House of Black _ . So Reg was officially the heir then. He swallowed and after scolding himself for letting his emotions break through the surface, he broke the seal.

He knew that opening the letter was not the smartest thing to do, but he couldn’t help it. Deep down, underneath all the anger and resentment for Regulus’ choices, Sirius still cared about him.

The first line caught his attention.

_ Brother, _

Sirius took a breath. The unease he felt all day increased and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Despite his reservations, he continued to read.

A lump in his throat almost suffocated him and anxiety was pulsing in his veins. He felt the whole world spin around him.  _ No _ .  _ This couldn’t be happening. _

Sirius took a shaky breath staring at the letter in his hands and he couldn’t believe what he was reading. Part of him wished it was nothing more but a cruel prank.

He looked up in the sky when the tears started streaming down his face. He didn’t see the stars and he wasn’t sure if there were any before. Not that it mattered now; everything felt pointless.

Nobody saw the large dog running through the town. But everybody could hear the agonizing howl in the dead of night.

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my Marauders story called "Help Me Hold On To You"! It was first written for the [marauderseranetwork's ](https://marauderseranetwork.tumblr.com) April challenge (tv show and movie au), but it took a long time.
> 
> I really hope you're gonna like it! English isn't my first language but I hope it's not too bad. A huge shoutout to my beta Krystyn for helping me so much with grammar and editing and being so patient, THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE YOU!
> 
> The title comes from Taylor Swift's "The Archer".
> 
> I'm not sure when will the next chapter be posted, but hopefully, see you soon!


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